Something Oprah Can't Do

Oprah doesn’t surf. Thank God. It really seems to be the only place that her world domination has yet to reach. 

Lack of surfing abilities aside, what Oprah has done in recent decades should be considered legendary. Against all odds she has overcome social prejudices to provide a voice for women and African Americans. She has bridged gaps and united brilliant minds. She has the power to create best selling authors overnight. And still, Oprah doesn’t surf.

Surfing almost seems to be one of the last areas of celebrity that “The Big O” has failed to infiltrate. Countless celebs: Matt McConaughey, Cameron Diaz, Barack Obama just to name a few have fallen in love with wave riding.

Cameron Diaz Gettin Wet

 Most surfers will attest that surfing is the closest way to interact with nature. The spirituality associated with surfing seems to be exactly what Oprah wants to convey both on her television show and in her O Magazine.  She’s constantly discussing ways to relieve stress and to balance daily tasks. She seems to appeal to the soul, just as waves appeal to the souls of surfers.

So why is Oprah holding off?

For one, she’s old. There are plenty of surfers out there that have decades on her age of 56, but keep in mind there’s a huge difference between

continuing to surf and learning. First timers know of the punishment.  Often times cold water, unforgiving currents, and a general lack of balance can turn a harmless day at the beach into a lifelong nightmare.

Oprah is not used to failure.
Surfing might be a blunder waiting to happen. Hypothetically speaking she hosts a "learn how to surf" special. She tries and she tries. She has all the right equipment and proper instruction, and yet, she doesn't stand up. Curious to wonder if pride could play a possible role. For a woman who has seemingly conquered the female world (from a guy's perspective: ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE) Oprah might be scared at not being able to do something. Everything she touches turns platinum, but where is this platinum surfboard?

Can you see Oprah becoming suddenly addicted to chasing swells or shaping surfboards? Maybe for publicity. Maybe to hang out with her "super cool" celeb friends, but Oprah just doesn't feel like a surfer.

Without a doubt before her television career comes to an end in May of next year, Oprah needs to assert her dominance over the silly  Wet Dream surfing blog by hosting a “Learn how to surf” special where she flies her entire audience to Hawaii to get private surf lessons from Kelly Slater and Laird Hamilton. If nothing else it would be pretty funny and some lucky audience member might get a platinum surfboard out of it.